They sure don’t make ‘em like this anymore.

In a perfect world (since a perfect world would be centered around movie trailers, obviously) I would be a proponent of a classic approach to this one, maybe of his opening monologue and then the flashy montage pictured above. Ah well. I do like this trailer though. It seems to have a transparent deranged intention to mix ultra-violence with flamboyant strobing and haphazard adjectives in an attempt to simply blow the audience’s fuses until after they purchase their clockwork orange tickets. Imagine being suddenly bombarded with this on a big screen. It gives the Ludovico technique a run for its money.

ps I’d like to know how many people were enticed to go see this movie because A. the trailer says it’s “metaphorical” B. because Beethoven is pretty much implied to be an adjective or C. because the trailer probably shows the devil kicking Paul McCartney in fast motion if you play it backwards.

Just as Scream is..kind of a great movie, this is an equally kind of great trailer. That corny old trailer voice manages to serve a proactive purpose, there’s a good clip to go with every sentence said. It passes the movie off to be an ultra ironic, self-aware horror flick.

There’s an abundance of shock-worthy 90′s haircuts (middle parts for everyone!) and a good few seconds of pure boobs.  All it’s really missing is a quintessential 90s alt-rock single. There’s no place for Chumbawumba like the end of a Scream trailer, amiright?  All I’m asking for is a 15 second montage literally interpreting “I get knocked down, but I get up again”…ah well, another one to trust to the Tribute Video community.

Anyone insane enough to be an animator knows that a one minute promo is no small feat.  But Pixar, in its infinite encyclopedic wisdom of all things adorable, decided to release multiple “vignettes” to promote its latest feature.  Throughout the promotion of wall-e, all of the trailers have been vague and character-based, because they know that beyond a mere “the people love the robots”, Pixar has beyond doubt tapped back into their exclusive underground resource of renewable aw-worthiness.  Nothing really needs to be said that a good Happy Meal toy couldn’t accomplish on this one, for between the concern for the pet cockroach, the ability to recoil into a cube and then peak his sympathetic little eyes out, his curiosity and Chaplin-esque charm of trying to shake hands with anything, Wall-e is going to draw in the crowds on pure name brand and  animation-worthy quirks.  Forget the plot, I saw Wall-e earlier tonight, and I heard an adult behind me whisper to their excited kid, “There he is!” as soon as he appeared on screen.  He’s obviously adorable, so let’s forget the grueling hours it took to create something that wasn’t even in the movie, and just stare dumbfounded at Pixar and all its creations.

It’s not often that one sees a straight up biography/portrait documentary these days, let alone one that garners a theatrical release. It’s even less often that one sees such an A&E-esque spectacle that is aimed primarily at an audience blazed out of their minds. I think the trailer-makers came to terms with a sad, indicative truth of the day – Hunter S. Thompson’s current legacy often extends no farther than does syncing Dark Side Of The Moon with The Wizard of Oz. Though they threw in a thing there about “The Nightmares of Today”, this trailer no more intends to expand on that theme than it intends to linger a moment on describing his journalism to any non-fans, or talk about how he got where he got. Come on, trailer! Make us believe there’s some spin! Everyone who likes his personality and is apt to see it displayed will see the movie anyway, so come on trailer, pull in a new crowd! It’s your God-given duty.

Sir Thompson, with his love for things that go bang, renders the approach of the trailer even more difficult to discern. Here is what I see when I see this trailer: Motorcycle! Johnny Depp! Booze! Gun! Wallpaper (such wallpaper!!)! Hair! Fear and Loathing! Drugs! Crises! Guns! Rebel! Riots! Patriot! Nixon..Bush..War..Fireworks! It’s almost impossible to decide whether this is an attempt to capture as many antsy youngsters as possible with as many shenanigans as can fit in 2 1/2 minutes, or an earnest try at displaying the documentary topic. I veer towards the former because of Johnny Depp in the beginning – wouldn’t life be so much better if we scrapped showing off Depp and started with the quote about The Edge? – watch again, leaving out the first 5 seconds. ahh. isn’t it wonderful?

I give them demerits for the needless one-word “edgy font” title pages and for abandoning a good montage about his writing so as to mention Fear & Loathing and Gun Enthusiasm (is that the term?). Even if these things were his bread & butter, and contribute to his unconventional idol status, stressing that angle is as tired and common as exclaiming that “Money” starts as Dorothy heads down the yellow brick road.  Be that as it may, once one gets past the fact that this movie is not portrayed as anything deeper than a snapshot (whether that’s the case – your guess is as good as mine), it’s easy to take the trailer at face-value and acknowledge that it’s a well deserved snapshot of one of the strangest overachievers our century has ever seen, a personality worth digging up silly footage and intense political interviewees. So let’s just stop calling him “The Late Hunter S. Thompson”, movie summaries, please, read a few of his beratings of Nixon, and acknowledge that he was right on time, whether or not we’re willing to shell over 10 dollars to hear about it.

Myths and legends die hard in America. We love them for the extra dimension they provide, the illusion of near-infinite possibility to erase the narrow confines of most men’s reality. Weird heroes and mould-breaking champions exist as living proof to those who need it that the tyranny of the rat race is not yet final. -Hunter S. Thompson

Hey, fine by me, sounds wonderful, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s Friday night and I’m flat-broke and out of drugs… -A commenter on the “Gonzo” IMDB page

Someone was nice enough to edit together some footage from the early-’80s BBC adaptation of Brideshead Revisited and set it to that movie’s main theme, giving us a good idea how this trailer ought to look:

Now that’s more like it: boring. Honestly, no matter how kickass his book jackets are, the truth remains: Evelyn Waugh is boring, and the trailers for his stories ought to reflect that.

….What?

I have not seen mamma mia! I have no idea who’s supposed to be British and who’s supposed to be American and who’s supposed to be Greek and who’s supposed to be likeable. All I know is Meryl Streep is bouncing around in overalls, and right now, I actually couldn’t anticipate seeing anything more. Also, when those three men appeared in front of you, who wouldn’t just pretend that Colin Firth was their father and get a move on with things? This is guaranteed to have a culmination of silly dramatic relationships during a wedding, which is annoying in the most Boy Meets World of ways, and just accepting Colin Firth as a personal lord and savior would really just save everyone a lot of trouble. However, if keeping all the men around will result in an array of coy expressions from Meryl, I’m alright with the sacrifice.
Also, for anyone who hasn’t seen this, this is the pinnacle of music videos:

If you’re in the market to make a trailer, and want to find a sure fire linchpin in any movie, here’s what you have to find yourself. You find yourself a motion picture that actually, going far beyond the reaches of mere exposition, names a list of characters you are about to see, giving them each a one or two word title. Voila, you have your structure. The trailer for The Fall looks dangerously epic, every last thing about it. But it starts out with a list of the characters, is sustained by a series of enigmatic face-covering ornaments, and let’s be honest, uses the word (in proper noun form!) Odious. This trailer does make me queasy, between the super saturated colors and the combination of characters (one defined by race, one by human condition, one by specialty, Charles Darwin, and one involving costume? The confusion begins) but I can’t ignore that shot with the slow mo spinning, or that swimming elephant. And I can’t ignore the absolute promise that the story teller is going to break that little girls heart about 2/3 through the movie. They hint at that beautifully in this trailer without ever having to really step outside of the epic. And may there even be a slightly inappropriate relationship between the two main characters? O, the cinematically stunning intrigue! Actually, once I accepted that the story within the story will probably come together, and almost definitely in a really tragic manner, the most jarring part of the trailer was the totally random and isolated MAGNIFICENT by Sir Ebert. I guess we’re just supposed to put that in our critic-trusting pockets, but one word reviews, let alone solitary ones in giant giant letters, just aren’t going to cut it in a world of slow mo and silhouetted horses.

A couple weeks ago on a bus ride from Valencia to Madrid I saw a Spanish movie called Descongélate of about the same ilk–zany comedic farce about the lives of youngish people in Madrid–and it was actually rather disappointing, despite its endearing commitment to madcap antics. This movie, though, looks like a winner. First of all, good cast. Javier Cámara, Lola Dueñas, and Chus Lampreave are all Almodóvar veterans with impressive comedic skills. Chus in particular is a gem with the crazy old lady role (basically the only character she ever plays, God bless her…she’s kind of like the Estelle Getty of Spain). Secondly, if the trailer’s anything to go by, it’s going to be nice and punchy (although trailers have, on more than a few occasions, been known to mislead). It’s got that pleasing, bouncy rhythm of comedy trailers that, when done just right, sets off chemicals in your brain that convince you that a) life is really fun! and b) you have to see this movie ASAP, it looks fun! It’s got something to do with the snappily edited-together slapstick moments/wacky jokes (complete with swishy transitions and crazy Chus touching man boobs) and the brightly colored text frames asking you menu-themed things like “Meat or fish?” It’s an assault on the senses with pure zaniness, and I must admit that it’s worked like a charm. I can’t think of the last time a trailer made me feel so artificially light-hearted. If this were a local newspaper article I’d conclude with something like, “Let’s just hope that big laughs are on the menu for the actual movie!”

This is an odd trailer. Formally it’s by-the-book (the gooey voice-over, the story exposition, the use of The Cars’ “Just What I Needed” (they need each other!)), but most of the jokes are just a hair left of the content that usually fills these types of trailers. It’s kind of disorienting to hear the sappy voice-over joke about putting your eggs in someone else’s basket while at the same time watching Amy Poehler squat and piss in a sink. Something just doesn’t quite mesh; there’s a disconnect between form and content that hopefully signifies that this movie will be disgusting, funny, and awesome no matter how hard the production company tries to sell it as a generic comedy blockbuster.

Side note: Romany Malco (the doorman in this movie, also of Weeds fame) is a brilliant, brilliant man, and God’s gift to trailers.